December 2021: demure experience

Yesterday I welcomed a lovely lady visiting from abroad to my studio. She has been a great online customer for a while and we have always had fun chats but it was great to finally meet her in person! We spent great time talking not only about hats but all sorts of things. Of course we also tried many hats and hairbands together, made changes to one of them before we made the final selection for her to wear to work and off work. We later exchanged messages and she said ‘It was a great experience’. 

Her kind words reminded me of the popular discussion about ‘brand experience’. I tried to imagine what experience this lady could have had. First, all sorts of hats. Almost random selection made with different materials. Both for sale and for fashion photo shoot s. Extremely messy work table with many items still being made. Trees cut from my garden as hat racks. More mess. Big coffee mugs rather than afternoon tea set. Old fashioned black and white stripes hat box. And super random conversation on all sorts of things…. One thing for sure, it was none of ‘luxury high end experience’ as often referred to…! Business/branding experts have often pointed me to the idea that we ‘trade in experience’. While hats are of course important, it is also about ‘certain look of the ‘atelier’, hat packaging and all the things needed for ‘the experience’. And in business theory, my price range automatically makes me focus certain ‘target group’ (a term I don’t find tasteful) and general assumption of what sort of ‘experience’ this group of people may like to have.

However, I want to believe that my brand and products are not defined solely by the price. I strongly believe that people pay higher prices not because they happen to have the money but because they fully understand the value I create and trust that they are getting tangible value for their hard earned money. This understanding requires sensitivity, knowledge and intelligence. And there is limit to what ‘experience/atmosphere’ the surrounding non-hat factors can make up in front of these people’s educated eyes. Moreover, these special people are more intereeted about how I work and what I stand for as a person rather than being interested in what kind of furniture I have in the studio. Of course I want to some of the non-hat things properly out of courtesy and professionalism. However there seem to be almost too much emphasis on branding rather than the core products/services in current business environment. For demure making uniquely beautiful and comfortable hats is the heart or brand DNA and it is my mission to make sure that every single thing I make manifest the DNA. I know, I am repeating the same theme in my blog but I felt like saying it again after hearing this customer’s kind and rewarding comment, which meant so much to me. I am imagining that entrepreneurs with many decisions to make and take lots responsibilities while navigating in often excessively profit-driven business environment may be confused by generic advice which in fact don’t apply to their unique business model nor DNA. It would however be encouraging to see such entrepreneurs believe in their uniqueness and try utmost in core activities with enthusiasm. I am convinced that there are many people who appreciate such entrepreneurs for their love of their products and services. Finally I would like to say big thank you to this lady and hope she’ll enjoy her stay in Amsterdam! 

November 2021: A morning encounter

A morning encounter

One morning I was biking to my studio, trying my best to wake up for the traffic as I’m really not a morning person.

Then at a crossing, a lady biked across in front of me and the sight totally woke me up. She was wearing one of the skipper caps I made!

The lady clearly noticed that I was literally turning my head to her. I think she realized what I was looking at. She touched her cap, smiled a bit shyly and biked on.

I didn’t quite recognize her from the distance and she didn’t call my name or anything so I imagine she either ordered it online or got it as a gift.

It was the one made in denim that a small weaver in Japan made exclusively for me and it had slight sheen of lurex.

I drew patterns for the model 6 years ago (with a few modifications afterwards). It has a bit higher crown than those of classic skipper caps. Yet it doesn’t look too high-risen because the fabric is cut in certain way. The band underneath is thinner and it doesn’t have hard plastic thing inside so it was sitting on the lady’s head securely despite the morning being a windy one. And the peak is shorter and narrower so it doesn’t catch too much wind yet gives enough sun/rain coverage. And I was particularly happy to see that the edge of the peak finished by binding was giving the cap ‘finished with care=couture’ look.

Since I started demure, practical yet accessorizing everyday items became such an interesting project and I have drawn so many patterns using my hat blocks. The skipper model is one of my favourites for both men and women and every year I make small changes and produce a few variations. Looking for high quality fabrics with delicate textures and colours is another fun. This year I found magnificent cashmere/wool bulky tweed in black and dark chocolate.

Skipper caps are such popular style worn by so many people in Amsterdam yet being able to spot mine amongst others and to see all the small things I fussed about were making some difference made me smile and the the lady’s happy expression was a sign of endorsement, I want to believe....!

October 2021: More is no more

Recycling/upcycling certainly inspires us not to throw away what we already have but is certainly is not enough on its own as a solution to sustainability as what we can recycle is still, unfortunately, a drop in the ocean. Excessive consumption/production certainly has to stop for more substantial impact. Then is promoting vintage market or rental service a solution? Maybe, as one minor way of solution but again, these concepts are also carefully chosen not to disrupt the core concept of ‘more is more’. Why do we want more and more? I once heard someone say ‘Happiness must not be confused with pleasure’. I understood that it meant that while happiness comes from within, pleasure is an impossible substitute that you could find externally. Because it is an impossible substitute, it is never enough, hence more is more. In materialistic terms, If someone knows exactly what s/he wants and suits his/her needs, this person would be happy once s/he finds one item that fulfill that requirement. Of course such requirement may change after a time, but certainly not as quickly as mega high street chains drop their ‘latest’ collections. And after such period, even if your needs may change, you will have established an emotional bond with the item so will try to see how you could continue enjoying owning that item (where recycling will serve its full purpose and some skilled person would be best suited to help you). The trend of recycling/vintage/rental are all carefully placed not to disturb the core corporate spirit of excessive production and sales, the biggest killer of sustainability. It continues to force you seek ‘pleasure’ instead of ‘happiness’ and continue buying. This must stop for the sake of sustainability of environment as well as our own inner sustainability or happiness. I always had my family saying ‘You already have one like that!’ ‘Throwing that away is a sign of disrespect to those who made/spent money for it for you.’ ‘Can’t you find a way to fix it?’ ‘I’ll fix it for you’. ‘Following trend eagerly makes people question your intelligence.’ ‘You don’t have to look the same as others because you ARE cool as a unique being.’
Nothing changes dramatically unless we change dramatically but the hints don’t come from some new radical source but somewhere surprisingly familiar. And it means that we can do it if we start listening to the right voices with souls who truly care about you and your happiness, not the ones who only care about how much bucks they make. And last but definitely not leaat, to fulfill our pleasure as impossible substitute to happiness, so many people are underpaid and forced to work in horrendous conditions, totally being deprived of, not even happiness but basic human rights.

September 2021: C4A

Once a hat maker known for their occasion hats said to me ‘We are different types of hat makers.’ And from the context of the conversation , I could tell that she was referring to me making not only decorative hats but also day-to-day hats like fabric hats and caps and they considered those hats ‘non-couture’.
To me couture means ‘handmade by trained professionals’ and my training with my teacher, who I consider to be the very best in the world, certainly included training on how to make fabric hats couture way. It started with choice of fabrics including linings, how to make patterns, how to cut fabrics, why interlinings are important, why certain parts need to be sewn by hand instead of using sewing machines, why certain parts must be sewn by machines, how to bind peaks of caps, how to steam and block the fabrics before and after sewing. The hat maker who I mentioned earlier probably didn’t know that I was making my fabric hats the way I just explained and thought that I was another one selling ‘easily made commercial utility hats’ to make money. Obviously, she has never seen my fabric hats.
Of course I also make occasion hats and they are different in appearance but to me, what makes something ‘couture’ is how much time and effort you put in for good results for the customers. I fuss about process of making fabric hats so they are not only beautiful but light and comfortable to wear and make my customers happy wearing them in day-to-day situations.

Meanwhile another thing about couture. when I was small, even ‘ordinary’ people would have one nice thing made as a treat now and then while wearing more humble things day-to-day. So we all knew what couture items were like and how they were different. And they also knew they couldn’t always afford such things so they’d save up and once they got one, they’d cherish it forever.
I always enjoyed making fabric hats as much as when I made more expressive pieces. In fact, joy of making something worn by my customers daily and repairing once every few years is very unique and I feel very emotional when I see my customers going to work, going on holidays and walking their dogs.
Appreciation of couture is about sensitivity, knowledge and trust between the maker and the user. I call this concept ‘C4A’ or ‘couture for all’. And I want to believe that, the more people join ‘the couture club’, awareness of sustainability will automatically raised in a truly genuine way.

Just a random thought I had while fixing and refreshing an English tweed cap which was brought in by a customer who wore it for 5 years solidly. This way I want to make sure that you can wear my hats for a long time and we have an excuse to see each other now and then and catch up.

August 2021: 'Currency'

I always fuss about shapes and lines. My hats have to look well proportioned from every angle, as an entire piece on its own as well as in relation to the rest of your bodies/outfits and I am quite confident in achieving it as I have extensive training over decades.
How did I train myself?
I have always hated my appearance and body. I still do. Because of that, I’m super critical when observing what shapes have what effects as I had to use the observation to choose my clothes and accessories to make myself look as bearable as possible.
At this stage the story sounds so negative but please don’t worry.
Of course hating myself so much is not nice. But now the super critical observation helps my creative job and I won’t swap it for anything including the shitty learning process. I see the aesthetic effect of a shape and colour on my customers’ appearance pretty much straight away and can give some useful advice (IF required) while also understanding what this insecurity does to someone’s mind and what to say to make it less painful. I feel that I’ve fully owned the whole experience because of the benefit it has brought. It was a deal with pros and cons that I am now happy to accept. One of the lessons that I learnt is that, although there is so much emphasis on our appearance these days, what you are and what you do as a person is in fact way more important. It may sound true yet not realistic but it really is like that and I will argue it another time.
I still have so much self hate and it has manifested in so many negative way. It has certainly delayed the process of developing my own projects to including demure, has made me a miserable person who can’t deal with social situations and has made me trapped in certain physical/psychological conditions. I was angry with whatever had contributed to the situation. However, I can also honestly say that the entire experience has also contributed to my whole being, which I am ready to embrace. I am somehow picking up some beneficial by-products and they are slowly helping me to be more attentive, sensitive and hopefully emphatic. I have also met people who appreciate these sides of my character and give credits to them. And because of that, I nowadays feel more ok with myself. Of course there are days when I still feel so bad about myself but I at least know that it is only in my head so for now I can say that I have owned my being and feel quite ok about it. I will continue to monitor this interesting developments though, and to those who struggle with any traumatising experiences and low-self-esteem because of that, I sincerely hope that it will help them understand others with similar problems and can join a circle of supporting system and empower each other in a true sense....!

July 2021: Small business not so small

I stopped using ‘small business’ for my business or other entrepreneurial businesses.

Now I call such businesses ‘independent businesses’ and use ‘entrepreneurs’ for the owners. Independent entrepreneurial businesses are certainly small by asset size or operational size and during recent lock down, we were less protected and more susceptible towards collapse of the businesses (at the end of the day, the end of cash flow is the end of a business).

However, the lock down also proved the immense impact of unique independent businesses had had on our community. Personally, I don’t shop/go out much but still realised random conversations with other local business people inspired me and what they had in-store was much more special than anything available on mega online shopping platforms. We all missed contacts of enthusiastic business owners and their close-knit team, unique products and services they offered and unique social contacts we had at such locations. We missed events,sports and culture activities. Missing such things even caused mental health concerns to many of us.

At the beginning of the lock down, Dutch financial minister was quick to say that he was not prepared to offer as much support for entrepreneurs as for those who were in employment. He said in the effect of its being entrepreneurs’ choice to take risks and entrepreneurs not accepting consequences were only the burden of society. Although he backtracked his comment very quickly, the incident was reflection of how majority sees entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs decide to be what they are because they passionately believe in offering something special and personal. Of course there are risks involved but if they can make it work as business, it’s a very respectable thing and the joy they offer is not ‘small’ at all.

I don’t like the sound of ‘support small businesses’ as it can sound like someone with self pity begging for support. I believe in democratic socialism and I think it is perfectly fine for those who are vulnerable to get support. I also think it is perfectly fine for entrepreneurs to receive financial supports during crisis as they are more vulnerable within current large-corporation driven society. Meanwhile, entrepreneurial businesses are definitely worthy of support as the positive impacts on our life is not ‘small’ at all. Support for independent during crisis businesses is not at all handouts but is the right investment for the long-term benefit of our communities. Another point unique to Amsterdam is that, unlike other major capital cities, Amsterdam still seems to have more independent businesses not only contributing to the charm of the city but the economical contribution can’t be small collectively. I really hope the entrepreneurial communities will receive the credit they deserve despite major trend for larger corporations in many sectors.

June 2021: Post lockdown: An entrepreneur's perspective

As Covid infection rate continues to go down, restrictions are being lifted and it does feel as if our life is going slowly back to normal. Together with this week’s glorious weather, it makes me hopeful and happy. Past year was extremely challenging but thanks to the supports of customers, colleagues, friends and neighbours, demure could survive to date. I would like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Until very recently, I stayed in a ‘lock-down mode’ with much less direct contact with the outside world. It was such unique experience. On a surprisingly positive note, I had an opportunity to focus on creative side of my work. In isolation with more free time in my hand, I could try new things and dig out old materials and skills. The items made in such way may not be the most ‘commercial’ things, but they were given great platforms by those who believed in my ability and that gave me great amount of confidence which I needed to survive the difficult period.
On the other hand, lack of direct contact with other entrepreneurs did have negative impact on me. To be honest, I didn’t even realize this fact until recently when I started having anxiety and even panicky thoughts about how I continue with demure. Sometimes I even thought of quitting. And as you may know, the worst symptom of such state of mind is to think you are the only one in that state and there is no one who could be in the same situation or would understand that feeling. Moreover, I suspect that there is something like ‘sense of shame’ in talking about such feelings because within business community, there is almost too much emphasis on ‘eventual success’ rather than struggles in process. And the success only means financial success.
Also, I hate the mainstream interpretation and over-valuation of ‘positivity’ . Like criticism can be a constructive way forward, acknowledging existing negativity in life is the first step towards addressing it properly. And of course it’s easier to do it with someone who could be in similar situations rather than being pissed off and depressed on your own.
This way I hope to wind down the psychological lock down and support each other with other entrepreneurs in continued efforts to recover from the crisis. So small business struggles go on for another while but I hope we will survive together. As I said, ‘struggles in process’ rather than ‘eventual success’ is what gives entrepreneurial businesses opportunities to be creative and flourish. And such efforts play vital roles in unique local culture with many personal stories. I would therefore like to ask all of you to continue to support your favourite businesses and favourite people so all of us can come out of crisis even better and stronger. Thank you very much in advance!


May 2021: Greta Thunburg: A Year to Change the World

The short description of this BBC programne says ‘ Climate activist Greta Thunberg takes a year off school to explore the science of global warming and challenge world leaders, calling for action on climate change.’ However the programme is in fact much much much more than that. I don’t know if BBC really doesn’t realize the real message or they can’t say it because of its proximity to the power but apart frm the scientific research, the programme exposes even more devastating facts and communicate important message that this young lady has been putting her life on line to send out.
As far as Ms Thumberg is concerned, she is constantly frustrated that there is no action taken by the powerful and lack of will for the rest of us to change our daily behaviours . Throughout the programme, she tears apart politicians as well as other powerful people and talks about how annoyed she was because her family gave her a brand new piece of clothing as Christmas present while knowing that she wears her clothes until they completely fall apart before buying anything secondhand to replace it. Meanwhile, the programme also exposes that how Ms Thumburg is exploited by those who want to disguise their lack of actions and it is not only those attending UN conference and Davos Summit but also ordinary people. Some may argue that it is her choice to be involved in this activism even though she is still young. It was her choice to quit school for one year to travel. Well, however, please, we do know it wasn’t her choice. She made this choice because she HAD to as no one with bigger responsibilities dared to do it. The fact that this extremely young lady who otherwise finds too many human contacts overwhelming and prefers to spend time with her horses had to force herself to travel around the world, often being subject of serious harassments while her parents are gravely concerned that she may have total breakdown is nothing but a sign of serious abuse of a teenager. The fact that she had no choice but to put her in the position is a result of neglect of her welfare. Yet both the powerful and rest of us use her for branding only and never take actions as she insists. We all make her attend conferences, make them join rallies, take selfies with her and ask for autographs so we all look ‘conscious’ but we aren’t, and more importantly, even that ‘consciousness’ is not enough at this stage. It broke my heart to watch her weeping as she argued how we lack empathy. We raise her as a trophy while not channeling what she stands for. She says she will continue withbher struggles although she can’ see breakthrough in the current situation. If one doesn’t feel compelling empathy to do anything within his/her capacity, that means collapse of our moral and subsequently collapse of the world we live in (with very little time left beforehand).

April 2021: Exhibision ‘Op de leest van Jan Jansen - 60 jaar schonen & Dutch design'

An exhibision ‘Op de leest van Jan Jansen - 60 jaar schonen & Dutch design’ has started at Museum Jan in Amstelveen and I am delighted to be able to say a couple of my hats are on display together with amazing shoes created by Mr Jansen as well as works of Dutch fashion brands.
The hats shown at the museum are inspired by Japanese spinning top or ‘Koma’. In Japanese it is written 独楽, which means ‘playing’ 楽 alone 独’. I made these hats during the lock down so it was literally me playing around alone with techniques and colours to make this hat :) I used all felt leftovers after making small cocktail hats. They are assembled with invisible hand stitches. That’s why you see the same stripes but no stitches inside.
Prior to the exhibision, I was asked a few questions by the guest curator about Mr Jansen’s shoes and I answered as below.
1. My connection to Jan Jansen shoes.
Before moving to NL, I used to live in London and would pay monthly weekend visits to Amsterdam. Back then visiting Jan Jansen’s Rokin boutique (and I think I also went to the outlet maybe on Centuurbaan...?) was my uniquely ‘Dutch fashion experience’. I also read a newspaper article that Mr Jansen was always designing shoes with Mrs Jansen as the muse and I found the combination of eccentricity and personal warmth extremely fascinating. I see intense sensitivity of a genius in this combination.
2. What Jan Jansen shoes and demure hats have in common (As you can imagine this question made me feel extremely humble).
Mr Jansen’s shoes are beautiful as objects and the designs are as free as artworks. Yet as shoes or practical items, they are extremely comfortable. In his shoes, the artistic side and the practical side don’t seem to make any compromise to exist together. That’s what I appreciate in his works and I strive to achieve the same. Mr Jansen’s design concept as I see is truly the best example for me.
3. Japanese inspirations in Jan Jansen shoes.
Mr Jansen’s Origami shoes and other Japanese reference of course makes me happy. The hats I bring to the expo are inspired by koma spins and they are, like origami, are traditional children’t playgoods which features beautiful colours and simple yet clever lines. The origin of inspirations make me feel nostalgic yet the fact that it s happening in the Netherlands in 2021 is in such contrast and I am very excited about it.
4. About love for craftmanship in Jan Jansen shoes.
Unique and intricate designs can only be achieved by time-consuming focused work by skilled workers and the results always have timeless values on a personal values (like Mr Jansen’s live for his wife) and reliable durability. I truly hope that this expo will demonstrate the values of such works to wide audience.

For these, the opportunity to have a few of my works at the exhibition makes me feel extremely honoured, humbled and proud. Thank you very much and I look forward to visiting the museum as soon as it becomes possible! I hope to see you there, too...!

March 2021: True value of 'handmade'

Recently handmade products are getting attention as a sign of appreciation of authenticity. While I welcome the phenomenon, there are largely two things which I find mmmmmm.

(Definition of handmade and different standards)

I realize that ambiguity of 'what is handmade' creates a room for manipulation for commercial purposes. Removing such ambiguity to identify what is authentic handcraft is important for those who take handcraft and fair trade seriously. I would like to give a few examples in hat world.

1. Buying a factory made hat and factory made belt, assembling them 'by hand' and call it 'handmade'. Shocking yet I've seen them.

2. Buy a hat blocking machine, use your hand to operate it and call it 'hand made'. It requires knowledge of simple procedure to operate the machine so I'd say it is more advance than 1 but still.

3. 'Handmade' by someone who has not been professionally trained. Or handmade with simple and non-time-consuming skills. I love cooking, macrame, sculpting but never went on pro training and I can see not so polished finish in my products. And I would not sell them as 'authentic handmade products'. This is by all means not to disrcredit amateurism. Yet, professional craftmen have invested significant amount of time, energy and often money to learn the hardest and often most detailed tricks and the difference should be recognized and appreciated.

I know, it's a matter of demand and supply and if someone is a master of spin and another is happy to dream on the spin and pay for it, that's their deal and is none of my business. But if such trade is done for the sake of 'authenticity', I find the irony rather unfair on not only customers as well as for businesses who strive for true authenticity.

(Difference as true customer value)

Craftmanship has to be delivered to customers as true product instead of 'stories'. For example, you often hear how time consuming it is to make something or how everything is handmade, but it's not the story you are wearing/using but it is the product and if the product does not carry the unique result of time consuming handwork, there is no point. The price of handmade products consist of material cost and the craftman's wage, the work has to be put towards benefit of customers who pay the prices. It is just a matter of integrity. To be quite blunt, I sometimes see those who brag about how much time it takes to make something while it seems that the 'craftsman' simply isn't experienced or focused enough and as a result it takes long time to make something which can easily be replaces by something factory-made. Sadly these days, even experienced ones often often spend more time and energy in 'story-telling' and not focusing on the products. I totally understand the confusion as there is so much hype about 'branding' and 'storytelling' and some may feel insecure and confused. However difference between marketing focused businesses and authentic artisan businesses is that the former talk with mouths and let the customers dream while the latter let the products speak so customers dreams come true. I know, from business point of view, the latter does not generate 'net profit' as the customers' money is spent on tangible values of the products but I choose to believe in tangible value of my work and want to continue with my efforts to be a better craft person.

February 2021: A lesson of a pink cap

Almost 5 years ago I bought a piece of wool tweed in candy pink from my favourite couture fabric store in Amsterdam. It has thick woven stripes in different shades of pink and I thought, the patterns would look even better if I cut the fabric in diagonal. I was going to make an oversized flat caps as the combination of bold and masculine shape and girly colour of the fabric would be interesting. I made one and thought it turned out exactly as I wanted and thought it was such a clever piece.
That was around the time I started demure and started having contacts with ‘industry experts’. And you know what!? They didn’t like the candy pink cap! Instead I was given lots of reports from fashion weeks and all sorts of forecast. Feeling uber insecure after embarking on my journey of fashion business, I scrapped the pink cap and started studying hard all the reports and started making things according to what I learned. As a result, yes, demure became a kind of visible brand with a reputation of trendy couture, with which I had absolutely no problem with. Basically any mood/character/trend/style inspire me. I quickly start thinking what would look nice for this outfit or on this person and I enjoy that process. So I did enjoy being inspired by seasonal collections of great fashion houses and at that time, I somehow believed that it was a way to go as a business.
After a while, my collection remained couture and high quality but design wise it became a bit too predictable and the collection as a whole seem to lack variety. But for the sake of ‘consistency’, I kind of stuck to popular or ‘safe’ designs for a while.
Then this lock down started and it became a bit of challenge to source fabrics to continue making these ‘safe’ items. At the same time I started thinking about important of uniqueness and exclusiveness. Presenting m what I thought might be trendy is one great service, but I also started to want to present what I thought might be an interesting alternative, thinking that it is ok to believe my choice and design as someone who had professional training in making hats.
The small piece if the candy pink fabric was amongst the materials that I dragged out of my fabric stash. It was just enough to make one flat cap, as I did a long time ago. Then I put it on my online shop and posted a photo on Instagram.
Oh lord, I lost the count of people who made kind and positive comments! The cap was quickly snapped up by a lovely lady who I know has great taste of her own, like other people who wanted it.
This experience taught me an important lesson. As a small independent brand which wants to remain independent and special, it is important to stick to its gun and continue to make decisions independently and produce special things even if that seem to put you in a lonely place. My excuse for not doing so is insecurity from trying to navigate in such a competitive industry as a small player but I should still have believed in my knowledge and judgement as someone trained in this specific area. And again, it was my customers who helped me through by saying ‘Hey, I like this crazy hat and never found it elsewhere!’ So thank you. Collections at demure will now be as eclectic and crazy as it once was before and I hope you will find what you’ve been long looking for amongst them!

January 2021: Summary translation of Rei Kawakubo interview

Summary translation of an interview between Rei Kawakubo and the crew of ‘NEWS23’ (Tokyo Broadcasting System) which took place after Commes des Garcon’s SS21 collection in Aoyama, Tokyo on 19 October 2020. The interview segment was broadcasted on 20 October.

(Narration) Comme des garcon’s latest collection was presented to a limited industry audience yesterday. All the models were wearing ever so innovative creations. It is of norm that the designer shows up at the end of the runway show but Kawakubo never does it. Because of that, once anyone catches a glimpse of her, all the press flood in to surround her in an attempt to speak to her. However in a rare occasion, Kawakubo, who has taken roles as designer and the CEO since the launch of the brand, accepted our invitation for a one-on-one interview on camera.

-Thank you for accepting our invitation. We are under the impression that you hardly talk to media but what’s the reason for accepting our invitation this time around?

K: Considering current (pandemic) situation, I wanted to do what I can to send a message about importance of power.. Power of creativity. In a situation like this, rather than thinking ‘There is nothing we can do’ or ‘Let’s take a break’, it is even more important to work towards something new.

-What message did you want to send in the latest collection?

K: In on word, ‘dissonance’, I would say. While the silhouettes and pattern may seem to be from the time when everything was made by hand, you also will see Disney-inspired design and materials such as urethan. By re-creating what was once made with embroidery and laces using such modern materials and themes, there is now dissonance in my creations. I would rather see such dissonance as source of new energy. I find power created from the clash pleasant rather than negative.

(Narration) Pleasant dissonance’ as relevance to current pandemic situation?

K: When there is limitation and there are things we can no longer do, some may try to ‘get used to it’ or may think ‘It us what it is’ ‘There is nothing we can do about it’ but I think it is rather dangerous. It’s important to see the adverse situation as opportunity and find power to move forward. It is no use to be just being disappointed and depressed.

-Kenzo Takada and Kansai Yamamoto, who lived the same era with you passed away this year. How do you feel about it? K-It is a pity. You ask how I feel but I find it a pity. What else donI feel...? I know I’m also not that young (laugh).

(Narration) Throughout Kawakubo’s 4-decade-career in fashion, we see one unchangeable mentality.

K: Maybe you can call it ‘rebel spirit’. Whenever i see something that is not right, I feel angry and turn this anger into energy to carry on.

-This rebel spirit is something that never fades?

K: Yes, I know I can’t do much about it but my thoughts and feeling continue to grow. That’s how I’d describe in words.

(Narration) While Kawakubo stays on international fashion stage with her rebel spirit as fuel, she is also the owner of a business which employs over 1000 staff and we hear that the negative impact of corona was enormous.

K: The impact was indeed huge but I must overcome it. We have many involved in creative process, other staff as well as those who work in sales. For those, I go back to the principle of creativity and work hard every day and create something new.

(Narration) Kawakubo’s rebel spirit has only strengthened in current situation.

K: The harder the situation is, and the more hungry you feel, the more power to go forward we all have, I believe.

-My final question is, what fashion is for you?

K: Fashion is what I can use to express myself as well as what inspires me. It is something un-negotiable in my life.

December 2020: Thank you!

This morning’s news suggests that we will go into another strict lock down as early as tomorrow and my friends and customers have already been sending in kind messages of supports. All your kind thoughts for independent studios like mine is definitely the highlight of 2020 and I thank you all very much! This year, challenges that I faced as a one-man business band in fact asked important questions on why/how I continue with demure and I can’t be more determined to pursue authentic craft with moral integrity. Meanwhile, on a more personal level, being more aware of political and social issues on an international scale reminded me of my privileges and of things to be grateful for. So, while admitting that I do feel more tired than earlier this year, I still have hopes, strategies and positive attitude. Well, most of the time As I said, going through challenges this year gave me further clarity to what I stand for:

⁃ Local independent businesses literally form unique local culture.

⁃ Local independent businesses’ standalone impact on economy may be small but there are so many of us and our collective should not be neglected.

⁃ Cultural impact of businesses is as important in our lives as economical impact, if not more.

⁃ Local micro economy is based on community feel and trust, which means there is higher degree of integrity than globally built economy. Every transaction involves hearts and goods and services have unique meanings. I make everything myself and served my customers with full knowledge of what I made and took full responsibility and I am truly grateful that my customers treated me in more personal and humane way.

⁃ Money really is not/should not be the sole priority in human lives. What speaks to our emotions has truly high values.

I am humble yet confident that I have run demure with these beliefs and never made compromise. And I could see clearly that you all ‘got it’ and responded and in such gracious manners. My personal beliefs are one thing that I will have no matter what happens, but because I do demure as business, my beliefs have no values unless you understand and value them. So I’d like to take this opportunity to say thank you all again. As a local independent business, I feel proud be a small part of grass root economic movement and will continue with my efforts with strong sense if responsibility. Finally, I wish you all good health and truly happy holiday seasons with many exchanges of loving thoughts even if there are less opportunities to do so in person. Thank you!

November 2020: demure state(ment)

A fashion item which has strong design features is often called ‘a statement piece’. Also, a hat is often considered a statement item as we often think you need certain level of confidence to wear one.
Meanwhile I personally never feel that I am making a statement by wearing anything. Nor do I make a hat hoping to help someone making a statement.
A statement is something you make towards the rest of the world for acceptance or at least recognition. For example, I often make statements about my political and moral views and this is because politics and morals are about where I stand in relation to the rest of the world and it is my responsibility to make show my commitment. Meanwhile what I wear or make is 100% personal and I wear or make what I feel good about (physically and emotionally). Of course it’s nice to have recognition and compliments but I know I’d wear and make what I like even no one else appreciates it. I just can’t.
I picked ‘demure’ as the name of my hat brand for a few reasons and one of them is that, when we feel truly comfortable and satisfied, we are chill and don’t have urges to scream to the outside explaining ourselves. To me, ‘statement piece’ is ‘excuse -and-explain-me’ piece and I strongly believe that no one has accountability to anyone for their tastes for Aesthetics. What you feel comfortable in or what you find beautiful is totally personal and foremost and you definitely need no acceptance by anyone.
I strive to make hats which fits your practical needs as well as needs of your senses and as you are all very unique, am sure each piece will show very unique features. But that is ultimately for your own comfort and confident that you are in your elements and when you are in such state, am sure you don’t care what’s fashionable (till next drop) or what others may think of your outfit. And that is what I call ‘demure’ state(ment

October 2020-2 What 'supporting locals' means

As we face the second lock down, #supportlocal started trending but like any other mantras and hashtags, despite the actual importance of the term, real understanding of it tends to become less important. As one of the locally based small businesses, I am writing this note to remind myself of significance of local businesses.

1. ‘Support locals’ is about personal trust and goodwill. In difficult times, we think of the people around us who we know work hard and are nice to us and want to support them to reward the effort. Meanwhile, local businesses try hard to reciprocate the trust and goodwill. Current situation highlights importance of daily effort and the trust which such effort brings. And of course it makes local businesses feel even more responsible for delivering the value for the trust.

2. So if it’s about personal trust, it’s important that we know the people behind the businesses, which reveals that ‘support locals’ is about supporting local small entrepreneurial businesses.

3. As a conclusion, we realize that, current desperate situation reveals that personal contact and trust are important in our life and small businesses are contributing a lot in this respect. Small businesses are adding to sense of connection/community while taking responsibility for delivering the value as customer reactions have direct and immediate impact on them. Imagine a faceless online shopping. We search extensively for the cheapest price, not seeing the face of people exploited to deliver the goods cheaply while the seller send you the lowest quality craps. When we shop at local stores and see the people face to face, such acts of irresponsibility happen less often. This way, while shopping local may cost us more monetarily, we gain more value in terms of trust and uniqueness. And such experience may well influence the way we consume. Like, rather than buying something cheap and trendy every week, if you choose something special with assistance of someone you trust, you will be satisfied with such item for a much longer period of time. At the end of the day, personal connection is priceless in consuming experience. I believe the current situation is truly challenging us to think about how what we really should value in general instead of thinking about temporary remedy for the situation. And before I end, I would like to mention one exception or variation and it is ‘online local’. I have quite a few customers who live far away and I have never met yet took a chance with and now trusts me. I consider these customers and friends locals, too. And in a way, I value their trust even more as they give me a chance even without seeing me work or meeting in person. #supportlocal is about personal trust, responsibility and appreciation of uniqueness. With this thoughts, I would like to join the trend mindfully and try my utmost to bring difference.

October 2020: A real case for craftsmanship

Words such as ‘craftmanship’ and ‘handmade’ are used a lot in an attempt to add value to brands but the value are often only to vaguely enhance the image.

Meanwhile these words have tangible meanings to me.

Firstly, it means years of training to learn the skills. I have been making hats for 20 years and still feel that I have only scratched the surface of this big art. The words should not be used lightly out of respect to those who strives daily to build on expertise.

Secondly, I believe that ‘craftmanship’ is genuine only when the customers  DIRECTLY experience the positive effect of hand-crafted items produced by skilled workers. In this blog post, I’d like to focus on this aspect. Here I am not talking about ‘#craftmanship’ as a part of ‘#brandexperience’.
I decided to learn traditional couture hat making because I believe handmade hats can be enjoyed by my customers because of their unique characteristics. For example, Where sewing machine stitches make the design of the hat too busy, I can blind-stitch by hand for cleaner and more refined look. Where factory-made flowers look too uniform and cheap, I can curl each petals and create more subtle and natural-looking flowers. Also, by sewing together the crown and the brim of a hat with ‘z-stitches’, the joint part, which happens to sit on your head feels softer and more comfortable. The methods I employ can bring both aesthetically and physically enhanced results. Also, making hats by hand one by one gives me an opportunity to take into consideration my customers’ wishes as well as facial features and make all fine tunings. These are few of the many ‘tangible values’ that customers can experience and these are the values that lead to emotional connection between the customers and hats. This way it becomes meaningful to take care of one hat for a long time (and as my customers know, I take personal responsibility to do maintenance of all demure hats)  and our approach to consuming goods become more sustainable. If I don’t believe in the true customer values that handcraft can bring, I would not be a designer/maker brand but would apply for a job as an accessory designer at a large manufacturer.

Of course, making everything myself by hand do result in higher prices and if I want to charge those prices from my customers’ hard-earned money, I have to take personal responsibility for giving back the real value for it, not a vague promise of ‘brand experience’. Despite the branding-oriented trend, I have invested all my resources (monetary and personal) into the hats that my customers take home and no other things. And I am very grateful that my customers are open to my minority approach and give chances to it. With this knowledge in mind, I am determined to work harder, improve my skills so that I can deliver maximum value to your investment piece hat. Thank you all!

September 2020: A case for small businesses

When I hear or use a term ‘small business’ , I always detect a nuance of pity (like ‘poor little thing’) and I hated that. So I’d always describe demure as ‘an indie one-man band’. I imagine this ‘small=poor little’ connotation is a reflection of current capitalistic  ‘size matters’ mood. I resisted this connotation but struggled to logically explain why ‘size doesn’t matter’ and ‘small is a new big’.
But then I cam across this Youtube video, which cleared my thoughts once and for all. So today instead of the usual mumbling, I’d love to present you with the below link.

‘Yang Speaks’

https://youtu.be/mT8-snSX8SI

Andrew Yang is one of the former US Democratic Party presidential primary candidates and is a champion of universal basic income. I don’t necessarily agree with all his policies but I admire his integrity (at this point).  Dan Price is is the CEO of the online credit card processing company Gravity Payments and recently gained recognition after he raised his company's minimum wage to $70,000, and slashed his wage from $1.1 million to $70,000. The talk between these guys and other segments last over 2 hours BUT if you happen to have a small business or are interested in having one, you will listen the entire thing in one go and feel totally inspired. After listening to this, my thoughts became very clear and I could set clear goals feeling very confident and proud as a ‘small business owner’.
The focus is uniqueness and independence and whatever ‘business advice’ which come from larger business’ viewpoints don’t apply at all! Yay!

August 2020: rough idea for future

Recently I was asked to write a short text answering following questions.

• Why is this change important, what is the goal?

• Who do you need for that?

• What does success mean to you in this industry?

  It is impossible to give short answers to these questions so I made below note to myself as base of my plans.

  SUCCESS is nowadays synonymous to 'financial achievement' but for me success has always been having positive impact on others' lives on intellectual andor emotional levels based on my own values, even if it is a small one (My parents gave me a name 祐喜子which means 'Helping others be happy' and I am trying my best to live up to it) .This applies to my professional life in fashion industry. By creating my products using my own hands one by one to achieve high standard aesthetic and comfort, I wanted to communicate my commitment to beauty of couture and life-long relationship between us and our personal belongings. During the lock-down period, as we reflect on issues as sustainability in terms of human resources as well as natural resources, I tried to reach out to wider audience not necessarily to promote my business but to find more like-minded people as well as those who seemed to have different opinions to continue dialogues because I strongly believe that there must be a fundamental CHANGE in the way we treat our environment as well as other human beings and in order to achieve the change, 'NORMAL PEOPLE' LIKE MYSELF who have long felt that they have no power nor ability to make changes must realize that they do have power of intelligence and conscience if not power of money or influence to be a part of the movement and the change. For example, we must empower ourselves with firm belief that we are all uniquely beautiful and our personal styles and emotional attachment to our personal belongings are way more important than seasonal trends which are scheduled for seasonal sales. Also, we cannot be happy to score dirt cheap trendy clothes when there are so many unhappy people producing those garments. No race must be treated merely as a branding tool but must be treated with respect and dignity. I believe that the most fundamental change always come from mass movement of many ordinary people and as one of them, I want to continue to step out of my comfort zone and stand for my values. Also more importantly, I want to contribute to create safe and open environment so everyone can express his/her honest opinion without fear of being 'cancelled' and stay within the movement. This is how I want to contribute to the change, which ultimately leads to success by my own definition.

July 2020: ‘demure is dead’

Since COVID-19 related restrictions came in place, so much have changed by now and it was not always easy to deal with the new situation but thank you very much for all your kind supports. Every time I had a chance to have a contact with you, I felt so much better. Thank you very much again...! When I heard the announcement of the 'intelligent lock-down' one weekend in mid March, my initial thought was that there was a serious chance that demure might not survive as a business. While I knew I would continue making hats by all means, I feared that I might lose demure as a business, which was also a platform for me to present my work to a wider audience than a small circle of friends. I thought, if demure brand was to die, I wanted it to die at its best. This meant that I had much work to do.

1. New hats. My initial thoughts were that, if lock-down meant no sales at all, at least I didn't have to worry if my new designs would sell or not and I might as well make whatever I wanted to. Past few years, pressure to make 'trendy/popular/not-so-expensive/easier-to-sell' hats had been somehow draining my energy but I was all over sudden free from the pressure. I also had all time in the world. I could make what I had wanted to make yet had not had a chance for long time. For example, a small collection of bridal headpieces. Besides, not having access to new materials made me look at my large stash of fabrics and to be creative with them.

2. GStar RAW Earth Day project. I had been invited to present my work using re-cycled denim from the brand and I could spend good amount of time to produce 2 headpieces based on inspirations from two Dutch art masterpieces (Van Gogh's 'Sunflowers' and Vermeer's 'Melkmeisje). Sustainability and how designers could use their creativity were two of the many themes which were reflected upon during the period and I was fortunate to have an opportunity to express myself creatively and to contribute to the great project.

3. Collaboration with Ferry Schiffelers. Since I made a few headpieces for Ferry's collection 'Ladies Who Lunch' last year, we have continued to work together. Past few months, we have finalised designs for our next eollcetion, which are tiara-like high risen hairbands made with intricate materials. We hope to launch the collection during this summer. Ferry definitely was one of my best ‘quaranteam’!

4. Social media. Social media became even more important as way or communication past few months. More people staying online for longer time meant great opportunities for small brands like demure to reach out to wider audience in search for people like yourselves, who share the same values as mine. There is nothing new with me posting images daily on Instagram but I tried to write more text, direct audience to read my blogs, while continuing to present interesting images so I could communicate further what demure stands for from both creative and business perspectives.

5. Website and blogs While I am still behind in terms of business/technical sides of the website maintenance (SEO etc), it looks as if I managed to bring myself into a routine of blog-writing. This is more of my personal project as I write notes to myself as I reflect on many issues impacting not only fashion industries but our lives and society. While my posts may not be written in the most sophisticated manners from branding point of view, if anyone is interested in demure as a one-man band and the person behind it, it may give away some clues.

And now, after a period of self-challenging and clarification, my plans for the future are somehow firming up...

1. Studio is open full time for appointments only. I feel that relaxing of the rules by the government takes into account not only public health but also economy but at demure, I would like to take into account hygiene and safety only. By inviting customers by appointment only, I can ensure hygiene maintenance for each visit to be on the safest side. in fact, I was never a big fan of the ‘appointment only’ system but now I realise that it also helps me to better help my customers with better preparation so I think I will keep this system in place for a while :)

2. Unique products. After spending a few months producing without too much 'commercial considerations', I feel more comfortable with presenting unique one-off pieces. Going forward, I would like to try again to promote demure's unique styles and philosophy with greater confidence rather than being concerned about 'What people could like'. I would like to spend more time for each piece, using variety of the skills I have learned while making further efforts to communicate the values to the audience. Recent strengthening of communication channel via social media will hopefully help me achieve this.

3. Presentation of new work. As of last year, I had already announced that I would stop with twice-a-year collection launches and it will remain the case moving forward. Recent announcement of the launch of 'Rewinding Fashion' initiative by Dries Van Noten and other important figures was such a motivating news for me. Instead of putting together certain number of pieces only to have them 'a season older' in 6 month, I would like to present to you a piece as I am truly confident. I realised that, as a very small brand, the inability to deal with large wholesale business in fact frees me from certain calendar and cost restriction associated with such wholesale business. In the past, I tried to do such business most probably from egotistical reasons but recently I feel totally happy with demure being 'the little hat maker in the town doing own things'.

Like for many other fashion brands, recent events have had significant impact on demure for many reasons. It was indeed a challenging time but I wanted to take on all the challenges and come out of this period as stronger as a person and for demure also to be a stronger establishment. I am sure that I will face more obstacles in the coming period but I am confident that whatever may come will give us opportunities to truly confront the issues that we have had for a long time and make fundamental changes where necessary. As a fashion designer/brand owner, I will focus on producing beautiful things without harming other people nor environment, think for my customers, communicate my commitment and speak out against social injustice (economical, racial, environmental). Thank you very much for your time to read this, and I wish you and loved ones health and all the best. I hope to see you soon, too...!

June 2020: Big month causes trouble (An old saying from Japan)

Past few months have truly been intense. It started with a period of reflection and we started question many things that were going on including the way fashion industry works and the negative impacts it has on society and environment. Then past few weeks focus was finally on the race issues not only in the United States but also in other Western nations.

Some of these issues affect my life but others don’t. However, as I explained in my past blogs, I have decided to ditch the idea that I shouldn’t care about issues if they don’t affect me. And I have always wanted to practice my writing skills so I started writing short texts on Instagram first and then started blogging again about the issues that are on my mind. Although my blog is a part of my hat business website but I wrote whatever I wanted to because I don’t have other platform. 

First, it felt good to write what I wanted. And then I had an urge to tell more people about it. So I started mentioning it on my Instagram platform. From around that time, I started feeling uncomfortable little by little. I however still didn’t stop writing until this uncomfortable feeling really got me. Past few days I felt so stressed, worried and tired.

And I think I know where this discomfort comes from. 

1. Fear of confrontation. If I say what I think is seriously unfair, it of course creates tension with those who do not agree or feel personally accused even if that’s not really the point.

2. Fear of standing out. I am ‘demure’ at the end of the day.

3. Fear of being too small. I am no politician, professor, have no power.

4. Fear of becoming a subject of judgements from ‘Ah she’s doing it for self-branding’ to ‘She’s just a big month’ to ‘How come she is talking about issues which don’t even affect her?’

5. Fear of hurting others’ feeling by saying something wrong due to lack of knowledge.

6. In addition, on a complete different and even unimportant level yet something I cannot quite ignore. As close friends have said to me, creating these tensions can put my business at risk as I use my business platform to express my opinions. 

Stress from these thoughts really really got me. However, what I hate even more is something not being fair. I therefore sought how I could help myself with these fears.

1. Fear of confrontation. At least from my side, this is never to create confrontation but to start a dialogue. You can tell me what you think I am doing wrong or tell me that you agree but realistically impossible. Then I can give my further views and this is how we could mutually grow and possibly help each other. We can also agree to disagree. Either way, these conversations will be truly honest one, which we seem to miss at the moment. 

2. Fear of standing out. Well, for me this is a big step but if I don’t stand up and out, I also can’t find like-minded people. And this is exactly what I need to stay strong and continue to do my bit as a part of the grass root movement. I therefore really appreciate those who have responded to my blogs and IG posts. If I hadn’t spoken out, I would not have found you and form a coalition, which is an important step for any serious movement. 

3. Fear of being too small. This is exactly what those who bring in injustice want me to feel so I give up. Which means small people like me not giving up can cause some significant stir. What a lovely feeling, no? 

4. Fear of being judged. I just have to remember that judgement only reflects what the ‘judges’ are while I could always use them as ‘contractive criticism’ to double check my position. 

5. Fear of hurting others. I have to continue to learn, build correct knowledge and always think logically. If someone tells me I got it wrong, I can always correct it. Like at school, if I pretended that I know everything, I would actually not learn anything. I just have to continue to learn from good source, think hard and speak with sincerity. 

6. Fear of risk to my business. I see that acknowledging issues as businesses on a hash tag level is a good thing. However connection between demure and the business behind is way too strong and my personal principles are automatically the brand’s ethical codes. Whatever the business expert may have to say, it is beyond my skills to cover it up to keep it pretty.

It is also important for me to remember that all the issues have become unbearably big because we refused to confront and stayed in our small happy bubble. And that also means that, dealing with these discomfort and dearing to confront may actually lead me to a breakthrough. 

If you happen to have similar fears and thoughts, please share them with others instead of being overwhelmed by them like I was!

Wishing you all a lovely day!